Searching for Something

Today’s post is about the joys of moving, among other things. I should be a pro at it now, because I seem to subject myself to it more often than most. If you didn’t know already, I am a certified gypsy!

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My friends and family know that I’m usually on the move once every year/ couple of years. It’s no secret! Is this ideal? Absolutely not. Would I like to find a place that feels like home? Of course. Does it make for a great excuse to do a closet-clean out? YES! For whatever reason, despite all of the stress it causes, I keep changing it up.

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My mom was recently in town for a girls weekend / pre-packing party and she asked me something that really made me stop and think. She asked me what I was looking for. She said that it seems like I’m always searching for something, but what it is, she isn’t sure. And she didn’t know if I would find it here in Florida.

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I’ve been thinking about that conversation for days now. What am I looking for? I don’t know. Or maybe I do, and I just don’t want to give it life 😐 What I do know is that I’ve always been an extremely curious person, somewhat of a ‘free spirit,’ someone who longs to travel and have experiences in different places, wanting a life that is full of moments both good and bad: perspective, I suppose you could call it.

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I’ve fallen in love with both people and places, had my heart and trust broken, felt abandoned, lonely, and sad. But I’ve also had extreme highs: made irreplaceable memories with friends, seen places that are achingly beautiful, and taken chances that paid off in the end. I can’t say I regret much, even though there are things I’m proud that I did and things I’m not so proud of. You live and you learn.

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Despite the ups and downs (these past couple of years have been the definition of a roller-coaster ride), I try to remain positive. No matter how many times I feel like I could give up on a few things, there’s some sort of hope that makes me hang on to them. At the end of the day, I don’t think I could fully appreciate one without the other. It is sort of a romantic way of looking at life, but for me, it holds true.

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I’m hoping that whatever I’m looking for will stop me in my tracks sooner rather than later (if you’re out there, this is your sign!) I’m open to it now, I swear! 🙂 And I think the curious part of me–the part that likes to live in the moment, be present, meet new people, learn new things, see new places, indulge in spontaneity, and live out these so-called ‘life experiences’–will always exist. And that’s not a bad thing.

But in what I’m sure is a relief to my parents (and some of my friends), I am starting to realize those experiences don’t have to define you; you can define your own life, all by considering what YOU really want out of it.

Be honest with yourself; when is the last time you were honest with yourself? It’s a tough one to answer, but I’m finding it more of a necessity now than ever.

As for what I’m looking for, I truthfully am still figuring it out. It’s now a goal of mine this year to answer that question. So let me think on that for a bit (while having a little fun) and I’ll get back with you! 😉

XX Hannah

Jumpsuit: Finders Keepers

Earrings are older, sold-out, but can find the same or similar online: J.Crew 

Bag: Zara, also appears to be sold-out, but can find similar: Cult Gaia

Shoes: Schutz, also appear to be sold-out, but similar style here (and on sale!): Schutz

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